he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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