you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
