saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Vodka?
Forever.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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