we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
