her vagine was all disorganized.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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