I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
