eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
