I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize