My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
