Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
