Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize