I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
