i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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