Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
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