dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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