hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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