help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
