She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
