I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
