How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wish i was in the wii world.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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