i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
