there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
