I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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