Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
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Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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