Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
