It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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