but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
tequila makes me forget i have legs
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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