my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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