tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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