so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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