You work out of a Hotel?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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