He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
