Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
