I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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