eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
