i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we're making bets on your personal life
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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