***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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