She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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