He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
