Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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