I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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