i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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