Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i came on her dog
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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