Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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