It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
