I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
