I need help removing her.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Text me some of your sweat
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
