why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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