the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize