I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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