why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
