hell yes lets make some ravioli
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
