Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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