There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I understand Curling. That high.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
