if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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