i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
