Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
