Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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