You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We have so much sex to catch up on
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
