i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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