WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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