i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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