That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
